Surprise!

I'm still trying to compile little writings that I've done here and there over the years and today I found the unfinished letter that I wrote to Oprah attempting to gain some sort of assistance from her with my school tuition. I was nineteen and retarded when I wrote it, it's priceless!

Starting Line

Hey. Here's the T!

Yesterday, myself and a co-worker attended a meeting of HIV prevention service providers and faith based community leaders who are working together to make communities of faith a safer place for HIV education and prevention. It was truly inspiring! The motives and attitudes of the people there were genuine, selfless and full of courage. Several ministers / Phd's spoke during the meeting, all with different views and backgrounds, but all with a common message of non-judgemental service to communities of color in regards to sexual health.

You can only imagine what a blessing it was for me, as a Christian and a spiritual person to be in the presence of faith leaders who agreed that there was a better way to reach out to people of difference regarding sexual health. I was very moved. So much so in fact that I believe I will be attending a Methodist Church in my neighborhood this Sunday.

Work Brandy!

First, before I go off and how creative and amazing my girl Brandy is, I need to apologize for not posting as much as I should have. I keep forgetting that I can do audio posts and I've been away on business for a few days. However, I promise that I will do an audiopost from Rochester (aka Ro cha cha) when I go up there for a training on the 23rd.

Now, I love Brandy! You really have to get into her song that was leaked on You Tube called

The Jones'

, as well as the other song that was leaked on

Concrete Loop

She has had such a respectable yet tenacious career and body of work. From being a Cover Girl to her own TV Show, movies, grammy award, etc. I really love her flavor. Anyways, I think people are making the mistake of taking her quiet reflection and calm resolve for weakness and being safe. Look again!

Post Nasal Drip

I'm sick. And not my usual sick and tired of being sick and tired, I'm actually ill.
Its very difficult for me, because I usually can take quite the beating. My sinuses are in a twicker right now. The executive assistant who used to work at my agency would always complain about his post nasal drip and how, no matter what he did, he couldn't get rid of it. Now that he's gone, I have it! It makes my eyes hurt. It dulls my senses. It puts me in a foul mood. It makes me extremely fatigued and it made me miss the gym again today. Today was the third day that I've missed the gym and I'm really starting to feel the bloat, I know its all in my head, but it's the principle of the thing.

I can't win from losing. I don't take medicine, and my head feels like I'm trying to balance a bowling ball on a toothpick, I do take medicine and I can hardly feel my head at all. So, I'm hoping that by Thursday afternoon, it will all subside and I can go back to feeling somewhat healthy. I may do some push-ups, cruches and stretches before I go to bed tonight, but its not the same thing.

I'm also having some trouble locating all of the poetry I've written over the past 5 years. Its in old computers, completely burried boxes, with exes, with friends, at home, just all over the eastern seaboard. But as soon as I get it all together, I'm going to send it out for editing and publishing ASAP. I've got to produce something this year!

OOPS!

I'm not usually a flaky person, but I did something flaky yesterday. I agreed to help one of my friends / coworker with his production for the Evisu Ball he plans to walk tomorrow. Another friend / ex-coworker invited me to go to the movies with him and some other people. While shopping in Manhattan, I just felt tired and overwhelmed and skipped the rehearsal for the production.

I was slated to be an arm holding a burning torch out the side of a roving circus caravan. And in all honesty, I believe that I'm talented enough to do this without any rehearsal whatsoever! Yet, I know that the person who I agreed to do this for is a stickler for details and has every right to be picky with his art. I know I am! After leaving him messages today I feel a little bit better, but I won't know the extent of his wrath until I talk to him.

2007 has got to be the turning point for me. I feel like I'm standing at that crossroads again. That point where you know and everyone else around you knows that there is no way you can keep going straight ahead, there's no more road. Somethings go to give. I think it's going to be my dedication to public health and community based organizing. My money is on grad school and me going completely estabishment!

Respect

It's important to give credance and validity to your own desires and abilities!
What's more real to a person than what they feel and what they create?

I said no to someone today. I just decided that what I wanted to do was more important than preventing someone from being disappointed in me. I respect myself for that. I believe it's a step in the right direction.

I'm not really looking forward to going to work tomorrow. I know that there is a long list of things that need to be done waiting for me. It's been a while since I've taken vacation time and now that this big project is looming over the horizon, I have to wait until its done or at least until it's taken care of before catching the next thing smoking out of NYC. What I need to be doing is saving up for an international trip. Paris, London something simple at first before I start venturing off into the corners of the globe.

The news coming from around the world is really starting to concern me. ( I know, clearly it should!) But, there is just such a constant negative tone to it. A certain despair that isn't normal, even for the cynical press. Almost all talk of alleviating human suffering and bringing a close to the constant violent conflicts have ceased. Where are the think tanks, the suggestions, the hopeful organizational declarations?

I don't know what to say... Maybe that's how everyone else feels....

Choices

Did you know that if you neglect to fullfil your duty as a citizen of the USA, you could be fined or jailed? It's good information to know. It's also why I will waking up spry to report for jury duty on Jay Street in Brooklyn Thursday morning! As a person who has already been labled "previously absent", it's a good idea for me to show my face this time.

It's really going to bug me that I haven't found and downloaded Brandy's unreleased track The Jones. Of course it's unbelievably hot and pertinent to my life right now, so I'm not going to stop until I have it on my ipod.

So, we'll see what's good with this juror thing. I'll try and do an audiopost from the courthouse. A mess!

Crack

The new Betty Butterfield, cracks me up so fiercely! I even took the time to leave her a response, and I NEVER do that. It's funny cause one of my coworkers and I have adopted these horribly racist white trash voices to speak to each other when we're making fun of people or things. Thank you Betty!

I think it was the weekend before last that one of my good friends came up from DC and we hung out in the city. I'm not sure what kind of cosmic function / equation it is, but everytime I hang out with people I haven't seen in a while, we end up going on this neverending story type adventure that is so completely different from what I usually encounter socially, that I can barely believe its happening. So there's another useless thing for me to ponder.

The gym thing is working out really really well. I've added some new workouts to my 'routine' (sad, I know) and I'm really starting to challenge myself with the weights that i'm lifting and the effort that I put into each session. Go me. On the other hand, I have been a bit remiss in my plan to upgrade the decoration / furnishing in my apartment. Whether it's time, funds, energy, or motivation, i simply don't know. So that has to be corrected as soon as possible.

Stay tuned for more pics of me, links to videos, and now audioblogs that won't make much sense to people other than my close friends who have tuned their ears to my snippets of sanity.

Motivate!

I found a gift from God today online. It's an unreleased song from Brandy called

The Jones

Also there are two new Betty Butterfield clips on you tube that are a must see!

I feel really motivated today. There's a postive energy or something going around that I've latched onto. Who knows how long it will last so I'll just be hopeful and leave it at that.

Oh, I'm reading the Bible again. That may have something to do with the positive energy. It's difficult to read but it's important for me to stay connected to God's word in some form or fashion to keep me grounded and mentally stable. For real!

La Dee Dah

Things are moving along in the land of Nate. Yesterday I did some sketching and cut some patterns for a new v-neck tshirt. It still needs a lot of work, but it was good to get on the sewing machine again and just have fun. Now that my body is finally starting to move in the direction I've been coaxing it for the past few months, i've been inspired to work on the tshirt line idea.

That's right, I've been inspired by my own body. It doesn't sound too kosher, but its a good thing. Who doesn't want to feel better about the way they look?

Oh. Doyle NY sent me some auction information and I'm seriously considering going to an auction soon. It's about time I show my face in 'high society' again. Doyle has a very good reputation, and an excellent respect for their clients / customers. I'm horrible with my money, so why not sink some of it into a collection of random crap from a reputable auction house?

Trying to be cute...

 
 
  

Chest Pain

I've been having this really odd chest pain. At first I thought it was some sort of internal muscle pull, but now I've noticed that it hurts when I swallow. So, it must be something with my esophagus right?

I'll call the doctor and ask him about it next week. Prayerfully it will just heal on it's own without me having to go into the doctor's office.

On a lighter note. I had a chance to hang out with my good friend Adam last night in the city and we had a lovely time.

There they are!

 

Here is a little sample of some of the photo's I finally picked up today. I'm glad to finally have something to blog other than my lame musings. Now I can assault your senses with my even lamer sense of self-worth and style aesthetic!
Check out more at http://www.flickr.com/photos/snizatch 

Some Progress

Even though I still haven't received the photos from my short vacation with my best friend, I put two disposable cameras in to be processed today. So those pics should be posted within the week. I'm looking forward to seeing if they're even post worthy or not.

My ever so frequent visits to the gym are becoming a little too methodical. It's becoming to easy, so I'm going to have to switch up my routine a little to make it more interesting for my body and for my development. It's time for me to target those "hard to reach areas and start working on shape and definition instead of just general mass. My employer has purchased 3 sessions of personal training, but NYSC hasn't contacted me yet about rescheduling my sessions.

Personally, I think that the trainers at my particular gym are uncomfortable training me and have conveniently forgotten to call me. I'm going to have to do something soon, before I forget what I want to do.

Fat Day

I broke down and had a fat day today. No gym, lots of comfort foods. Peaches, guacamole nachos, jack cheese and chicken quasedilla. OOOMMM YES! I felt a lot better after eating these things and recuperating from feeling ill.

So I have to be extra careful this upcoming week. Sometimes I think its good to treat yourself to remind yourself of what you're missing and why you're missing it, but that's just me. I have an excuse for everything.

I'm really having a hard time finding things to write about when my life is slow, like it is now. I don't want to air all of my dirty laundry. Not all at once anyways!

Sophisticated Investors

I have a question.

How does one go about locating sophisticated investors? I'm sure it's a lot of schmoozing and this person knows that person, who slept with him, who is related to her cousine .... etc. Aspiring young entrepeneurs, like myself (HA!), must have a horrible time going through the whole pitching ideas to people process as well as the investor locating process. There must be some organization / company that specializes in doing just this. I think about Google, Apple and the other companies that started in garages or cubicles and have grown into national institutions, and wonder what helped them make that leap into the big pond.

Thinking back on my post regarding all the "brilliant" ideas that seem to plague my unworthy mind, it's clear to me now that the preventive force that restricts my productivity is resources. Who wouldn't love to quit their job and work on some project that's been sitting in the back of their mind and their friends mind's for years? It's that leap of faith directly into the arms of potential failure and devastation that separates the little girls from the women and the little boys from the men. HMMM...

Back Again

I haven't posted in a few days, and there was something that I wanted to say, but I can't remember what it was....
I'm still writing, but now i'm interested in finding something good to read. My bookshelves have taken a hit recently and look bare. I'll buy more books as soon as I get a chance and the coinage.

Those pictures that I took with my friends still haven't sufaced yet. So I recently just bought two little disposable cameras and snapped some shots of myself to post later. Hopefully they don't look too contrived and poorly executed!

On a more personal note, I had the most satisfying conversation with my mother the other day. We talked about politics, music, all kinds of things. She's coming to visit along with my brothers and my brother's girlfriend. Can you say 'tailored view of Nate's life in NYC!' But besides that, she really impressed with her impressions of myself and my brothers. She really listens to us when we talk and even after not living in the same city for 6 years, she still has a pretty good hold on what kind of person I am. Congratulations Mother, you've just earned even more respect from you own son, not an easy task in this day and age.