Going Home Deranged

Well... See... Here's the thing


I'm incredibly excited to be going back home to North Carolina for a week in April.
I'm very near to landing a new Community Health Specialist position with P.O.C.C. in Brooklyn.
It's spring.

All of this sounds amazingly good and fantastic and all of that. But the hype and the waiting as well as the pressure and possible disappointment are driving me nuts. How does one keep themselves balanced knowing that some weighty shit is about to go down in their life?

I'm going to be seeing both of my brothers on this trip home in April. edited Awkward Much?

It's not that I'm worried that things will completely fall apart. My worst fear is that somehow I'll be half out of it and terrified and make 2 or 3 bad decisions that will create a lasting eww effect. Where things are just not the best that they can be. My brother could be angered by not being told about me earlier. My friends are always a prozac away from complete insanity and lack of judgement, and I myself have been known to let things slide and neglect important responsibilities and duties for no other reason than I don't want to deal with a whole bunch of crap.

Yet. I have a secret weapon. Faith. Faith in God. Trust in my loved ones and my own selfish determination to have everything go well and leave a smile on everyone's face, my prospective employer, my family, and my friends, all of whom expect completely different sides of me to be in their full glory.

It will turn out ok.
no

Absolute Perfection. All encompassing Victory to me and my endeavors!