New Thoughts

Well,

I spoke with my mother the other day about some random issues and the issue of gay marriage and voting came up somehow. I shared my views with her and she felt very surprised to hear that I didn't think it was important to act on those views by participating in any state legislation votes etc.

She really forced me to take a second look at the meaning of belief and how I've been participating in social discourse. Can you really say you believe in something without acting on it. Kind of like lies of omission, if you're going to say something you have to say all of it for it to be truth. If I say I believe in something I should act on it to complete the statement.

Uh OH!

Ok, I have to apologize. I did create a post from Rochester but due to my rushing onto the plan, I think it got lost in cyberspace. I'll try again later.

Surprise!

I'm still trying to compile little writings that I've done here and there over the years and today I found the unfinished letter that I wrote to Oprah attempting to gain some sort of assistance from her with my school tuition. I was nineteen and retarded when I wrote it, it's priceless!

Starting Line

Hey. Here's the T!

Yesterday, myself and a co-worker attended a meeting of HIV prevention service providers and faith based community leaders who are working together to make communities of faith a safer place for HIV education and prevention. It was truly inspiring! The motives and attitudes of the people there were genuine, selfless and full of courage. Several ministers / Phd's spoke during the meeting, all with different views and backgrounds, but all with a common message of non-judgemental service to communities of color in regards to sexual health.

You can only imagine what a blessing it was for me, as a Christian and a spiritual person to be in the presence of faith leaders who agreed that there was a better way to reach out to people of difference regarding sexual health. I was very moved. So much so in fact that I believe I will be attending a Methodist Church in my neighborhood this Sunday.

Work Brandy!

First, before I go off and how creative and amazing my girl Brandy is, I need to apologize for not posting as much as I should have. I keep forgetting that I can do audio posts and I've been away on business for a few days. However, I promise that I will do an audiopost from Rochester (aka Ro cha cha) when I go up there for a training on the 23rd.

Now, I love Brandy! You really have to get into her song that was leaked on You Tube called

The Jones'

, as well as the other song that was leaked on

Concrete Loop

She has had such a respectable yet tenacious career and body of work. From being a Cover Girl to her own TV Show, movies, grammy award, etc. I really love her flavor. Anyways, I think people are making the mistake of taking her quiet reflection and calm resolve for weakness and being safe. Look again!

Post Nasal Drip

I'm sick. And not my usual sick and tired of being sick and tired, I'm actually ill.
Its very difficult for me, because I usually can take quite the beating. My sinuses are in a twicker right now. The executive assistant who used to work at my agency would always complain about his post nasal drip and how, no matter what he did, he couldn't get rid of it. Now that he's gone, I have it! It makes my eyes hurt. It dulls my senses. It puts me in a foul mood. It makes me extremely fatigued and it made me miss the gym again today. Today was the third day that I've missed the gym and I'm really starting to feel the bloat, I know its all in my head, but it's the principle of the thing.

I can't win from losing. I don't take medicine, and my head feels like I'm trying to balance a bowling ball on a toothpick, I do take medicine and I can hardly feel my head at all. So, I'm hoping that by Thursday afternoon, it will all subside and I can go back to feeling somewhat healthy. I may do some push-ups, cruches and stretches before I go to bed tonight, but its not the same thing.

I'm also having some trouble locating all of the poetry I've written over the past 5 years. Its in old computers, completely burried boxes, with exes, with friends, at home, just all over the eastern seaboard. But as soon as I get it all together, I'm going to send it out for editing and publishing ASAP. I've got to produce something this year!

OOPS!

I'm not usually a flaky person, but I did something flaky yesterday. I agreed to help one of my friends / coworker with his production for the Evisu Ball he plans to walk tomorrow. Another friend / ex-coworker invited me to go to the movies with him and some other people. While shopping in Manhattan, I just felt tired and overwhelmed and skipped the rehearsal for the production.

I was slated to be an arm holding a burning torch out the side of a roving circus caravan. And in all honesty, I believe that I'm talented enough to do this without any rehearsal whatsoever! Yet, I know that the person who I agreed to do this for is a stickler for details and has every right to be picky with his art. I know I am! After leaving him messages today I feel a little bit better, but I won't know the extent of his wrath until I talk to him.

2007 has got to be the turning point for me. I feel like I'm standing at that crossroads again. That point where you know and everyone else around you knows that there is no way you can keep going straight ahead, there's no more road. Somethings go to give. I think it's going to be my dedication to public health and community based organizing. My money is on grad school and me going completely estabishment!

Respect

It's important to give credance and validity to your own desires and abilities!
What's more real to a person than what they feel and what they create?

I said no to someone today. I just decided that what I wanted to do was more important than preventing someone from being disappointed in me. I respect myself for that. I believe it's a step in the right direction.

I'm not really looking forward to going to work tomorrow. I know that there is a long list of things that need to be done waiting for me. It's been a while since I've taken vacation time and now that this big project is looming over the horizon, I have to wait until its done or at least until it's taken care of before catching the next thing smoking out of NYC. What I need to be doing is saving up for an international trip. Paris, London something simple at first before I start venturing off into the corners of the globe.

The news coming from around the world is really starting to concern me. ( I know, clearly it should!) But, there is just such a constant negative tone to it. A certain despair that isn't normal, even for the cynical press. Almost all talk of alleviating human suffering and bringing a close to the constant violent conflicts have ceased. Where are the think tanks, the suggestions, the hopeful organizational declarations?

I don't know what to say... Maybe that's how everyone else feels....