TMI

You know, sometimes you just don't need to know some things. It's funny, because as children, we're taught by Schoolhouse Rock that knowledge is power. But knowledge is not wisdom and understanding and if you know something but don't understand it, it can drive you mad.

Yesterday, someone was sick on the train, I inched closer and closer to see if I could figure out what was all the hubbub. When the crowd surround the person finally cleared a little I saw one of the most disturbing sites I had ever seen. The sounds, the colors the, movement, it was all so other worldy, I actually thought this person may be possessed! So I said a little prayer for him and turned away, becuase there was honestly nothing more that I believed I could do, and the paramedics were already on the scene. Did I need to see all that? NO! Have I learned something from it? Not anything that I didn't already know, which is to mind your own business.
I'm certainly going to be more careful to only seek out the info that I can process.

Not so perfect Day

I had one of those days today. Where you look around at the unforgivable mess that is your life and say I give up. Whatever all of you F#@!^&G people want from me, you can have it. Today, I was very Cartman "...Screw you guys...I'm going home..."

Here's the thing: I work for a non-profit contractor that works directly under a very large government institution (that shall remain nameless) Needless to say, there is always a great deal of beaurocracy involved in all of my reporting to said institution, but today I just couldn't deal with it. I had tissues and issues. Then, I realized that life will go on whether or not all of my i's are crossed and my t's dotted so long as I stay true to my own personal goals and mission to give to the community i've unofficially pledged to serve by working in the non-profit sector. Look, is that a bird singing in that tree? is there a rainbow arching accross the cotton flecked sky? No, its probably a pigeon being attacked by a rat in gutter and a skittles billboard.... but thats ok cause I know what's really important about today, the fact that I've made it through!

Little Bits of Anger, Big Bits of Hope

Well, I'm back

I have a new computer and lots of time to play on it due to my new single status. As for all of those other things that I was supposed to have been working on. I have been working on them, but they're all still in the beginning phases right now. Lets call this the "research" phase. I've posted an ad on craigslist that will hopefully help me to get back into styling again. I need to keep focus. I don't want to be one of those guys who turns into that middle aged monster that gave up on himself years ago. I'm only 24, why do I feel like such an old loser.

UPDATE:

Due to my lack of funds and refusal to compromise, I will not be taking the GRE or applying for graduate school until the end of 08 or something like that I suppose. I'm not upset, I'm just disappointed.
I have found a possible jewelry making class that will take my mind of of things as well as get me back into designing and such again. I have been writing poetry lately but I don't really trust my skills in that regard.
After a very small amount of reseach on the internet, I have discovered a few fairly cheap recording studios where I can get some songs down on disc for the perusal of nightclub owners and other extremely brave people.

I want to talk about my relationship with my family and how I believe that it has improved along with my desire to be more involved and less distant with them, but I don't think its appropriate right now. Plus, I don't know how to communicate it properly