Another Brandy Tragedy

I have to go ahead and get this off of my chest once and for all. Brandy  has gotten a raw deal. There, I said it. And not just by the entertainment industry, and music fans everywere, but by her own management. In the past year, I have downloaded about 12 or 13 unrealeased Brandy tracks that never made it onto any of her albums that were AMAZING. Some of the best R&B I've ever heard period. Don't believe me, just listen to SWEET NOTHINGS , FOLLOW ME, AFTER THE FLOOD, ESCAPE, FEEL SO GOOD, LIST, etc. 

I know AMAZING. Now, here's the thing, anyone who knows anything about music can tell you what she's done for her genre and how the quality of her work and her instrument have only improved over time. Period. So why is most of her best work not being included on her albums. I'm confused. Who has it in for her? This las song I'm going to post was the straw that broke the camels back for me. I need answers after this. I emplore the interweb to respond to me, and tell me why this is happening. I think we all deserve the honest answer to this artistic tragedy. Now, I'm going shut up and let Brandy talk. Listen to the emotion and skill that puts into yet anothe unreleased, superlative piece simply entitled, FREEDOM.

 

I saw the train comin' for me with the force of a million marching
I felt the eyes of so many, the whispers and shouts about my belief in us
I see the cloaks on the judges, flaws in the judgement, beast in the dungeon that dont scare me
And I'll say it on a mountain, say it all in public, hold a press conference to speak about my freedom

Just us - lookin' upon a city of towers soaring
Just us - standing our ground in a crowd of lions roaring
Just us - I won't be held, I won't back down no more
Just us - Freedom
Just us - Freedom

I flew away this morning, what if I ran away and never came back
And all of the fame means nothing, it's all a game and the gladiator just won't win
And I see cloaks on the judges, flaws in the judgement, beasts in the dungeon, don't look scared to me
And I'll say it on a mountain, say it all in public, hold my head high, I'ma speak about my freedom

Just us - lookin' upon a city of towers soaring
Just us - standing our ground in a crowd of lions roaring
Just us - I won't be held, I won't back down no more
Just us - Freedom
Just us - Freedom

Free to run on the water
Free to believe, free to love
Free to speak their mountain off the ground(?)
I believe in us

Just us - lookin' upon a city of towers soaring
Just us - standing our ground in a crowd of lions roaring
Just us - I won't be held, I won't back down no more
Just us - Freedom
Just us - Freedom

My Freedom
My Freedom
My Freedom
Freedom, Freedom

Holiday Hope

So, '09 is finally here, and all of the promises I made to myself in '08 are either coming back to haunt me or coming to fruition. My multi-pronged consulting agency and design studio, my trip to a foreign land, my improved budgeting skills, my relationship acumen, my this that and the other... What will become of these idioms, these internal insinuationans and assertions? Well, I can't say much about what will happen, that's one thing is certain. However, I can describe the events that have already occured that give me permission to hope for more good to befall me in the near future.

This Christmas, my immediate family came to visit me here at my apt. here in Brooklyn. Not only did they come to visit, they stayed for much of the holiday season. I was ecstatic. My mother and two younger brothers put everything else aside and sacrificed their plans to come to New York, one of them, for the first time. Their visit was a Christmas gift to me that can only be called a blatant act of goodwill. Ever since my brother brought to my attention the strain that distance and lack of communication was playing on my familial relations, I've been determined to interact with them all with much more vigor and sincerity, no matter what the consequences. We all know that certain things about family can be unpleasant, but the benefits of staying close, truly close to your family always outweighs the cost. I'm very grateful to them for putting themselves through difficult and expensive traveling during a recession to help repair old bonds and foster new ones. 

Thanks

Wake up call

My job is hard. I really think that this is the first time in a long time that I've been intellectually challenged by my work. Professional pharma advertising and corporate communication is drastically different from consumer work. I'm reading things and handling information that I would have never been entrusted with at the consumer focused agency. Now, the downside to all of this new responsibility and intellectual stimulation is a glaringly obvious lack of creative writing! Hello! What kind of copywriter, rarely gets a chance to actually write something?

Well, I do get to write here, in my blog.  But that's just not good enough for me anymore. I'm getting back into a grove, I'm finishing up old projects and consolidating some of the really old ideas into the my new ideas. It's just got to work. 

More shameless Brandy fandom!

Check out the amazing vocal riff at the end of this song, It's really subtle, but when you hear it, it will remind of you of Ella and the creative singing of olde.

Kluster Focus

A few months ago, I attended a NextWeb conference in New York and helped present eyebees.com to the Web 2.0 community. I was particular impressed by the kluster.com presentation given by a lively group of young entrepreneurs.  After the event was over I promptly registered on their site and forgot all about it for some time. Now, after trolling the internet, I've once again come across this dynamic group and their unique formulae for collaboration. They're now working on a project with TED to grant a wish. You have to read-up on it to really get what's going on here, but I think that it will be well worth your time. Check out more about this project by clicking on the title of this post or here.

Two events, One cause

So, of course, everyone now knows that Barack Hussein Obama is the 44th president of the United States of America. The son of a white American mother and a Nigerian born father, he is the first American president with African heritage (that we know of). I voted for him and I'm very glad that he won the election.

Now, let's talk about what this means for the millions of Americans that will now be looking to him for leadership in this, our hour of need. After watching the election at a friends house in Queens, NY, myself and two friends walked back to the train station to get home, chatting about the historic event along the way. My two friends, like me, are black men in their late twenties. On our walk, we came across another young man making his way somewhere after the election, a white man. We saw him coming toward us on the side walk just as we were about to reach an area where the path thinned between a fence and a tree. The three of us began to adjust our alignment so that he would be able to pass, but before we could complete the new formation, he swiftly ducked into a gateway in the fence. The three of us then stared in amazement as he ever so slightly nodded, urging us to accept the entire sidewalk and not slow or alter our footsteps. So, we obliged, looking at each other in disbelief.

On the same night, I was making my last connection to the J train at Canal and I overheard and saw another interesting event on the night of Obama's election. Ahead of me on the downtown Q platform there were two young black men, leaning against the wall and two young, white people walking past them. I didn't see what happened, but I'm guess that there was some sort of collision or accidental bump or something. One of the young black men yelled out to the young white guy, "...Oh, why you frontin', Obama '08..." or something of that nature. The young white guy's retort was, "...Oh, excuse me I'm sorry..." or "...I said, excuse me..", I can't remember. The young white woman turned around and asked the young white man, "...What did he say?.." and the white guy began to tell his version of the story. The white man and the white woman never stopped walking.

I've had a little bit of time to think about both of these events and I can't help but come to the conclusion that it's only the tip of the cultural iceberg that America has hit. Now that a minority is at the head of our national government, the social rules and regulations around privilege, respect, authority, communication and power can all be rethought and re-enacted in a very visceral way. No more hypothesizing about what it would be like to have black skin sitting behind the desk in the oval office. No more looking up the ranks of prosperity, and leadership and seeing white faces with a few people of color in the background. Oh No. Now, another type of experiential reference is directing the nation, and we'll all have to look at what change really is and how it's lived day to day.

Will black people in America feel emboldened a prideful now that the president is also black? Will white people feel devalued and unsure of their place in the nation now that someone who looks like a person that many of their ancestors would have owned is telling them what to do and how to do it?

Stay tuned.
I most certainly will be watching. Very, very closely.

QWERTY QUERY

Technology these days can really stack up on a guy if he's not careful. You begin to collect things that you either use rarely or never at all. My cell contract of two years is coming to an end soon and I plan to switch over to another carrier and get the iphone. I think it's a good idea because I'd be knocking out two birds with one stone (i think killing is too strong a word).

But here's the ever present dilema. How do I pay for it? I thought about waiting until my birthday, but that seems so far away even now at the end of October, a month is a long time to string out a contract you don't want anymore. Then I thought, I don't use my DS or PSP much anymore, and there are new versions of both availalble now anyways, so why not sell them to raise the funds? Then I'd still have to save up later to buy the new versions of both, or one of the gaming devices. Now that I think of it, you use a phone everyday and it's helpful in emergencies, but the ds and psp are just for fun, and usually only on long trips. I think I'll sell them both.

All airborne!

Air Art from flip on Vimeo.

Next stop, anime-style gunships and post-apocalyptic society rebuilding!

That's nice, I think?

i found this chair at a yard sale in upstate new york . i re- upholster ed the seat with a thick knit and painted it white to make it younger and less formal. now that i think of it, i should have taken a before pic to make the reveal more dramatic. oh well, next time.

another late pic from my trip to the moma with a friend.

one big guard dog wouldn't be as cute, would it? only in chelsea.

The big picture.

Beached from Keith Loutit on Vimeo

Maybe this is how God sees us sometimes. Who can quibble over insignificant differences when our commonalities are so eloquently displayed? The artists name is Keith Loutit.

Special Signs ?

It took me a while to post this particular photo. It was taken at a birthday party I attentded a while ago. There is also a YouTube video that goes with it. I wish that I could explain why there is a man in a gorilla suit at the party. but I can't. I just can't.

Culture Clash (and then Bash!)

This video put together by the multimedia entertainment team of Ben & Ryan is just simply a joy to watch. It's ingenious. I've watched the original video from the SMACK DVD with the original volume, and although very lyrically impressive, it's not nearly as funny and culturally relevant. Why, you ask? I actually don't know. I'm sure if I really sat down in a corner and mulled it over for a bit, I could come up with something, but as of yet, no real explanation for its communicative power is readily available to me. I like high english, and I like a good verbal assault disguised as a logical argument I guess. It's kind of how my friends and I talk to each other really. I'll just say for now that the plausibility of it all is what makes it so humorous. The way that Ben & Ryan berate each other is completely in line with the "standard" formula for an inner city hip-hop rivalry, it just uses standard English instead of slang and rhyme. Kudos to the creators.

Let's take a closer look

A very good friend of mine forwarded me this interesting email deliniating some of the more pertinent differences between Palin and Obama. Why people are trying to compare the two at all in the first place is beyond me.




Subject: Fw: The Double Standard Lives....



I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....

* If you grow up in Hawaii , raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."

* Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, a quintessential American story.

* If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

* Name your kids Willow , Trig and Track, and you're a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School and be President of the Law Review, and you are unstable.

* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a community organizer, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate e representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

* If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

* If, while governor , you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.

* If your husband is nicknamed "First Dude," with at least one DUI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA , your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

I don't condone, but I do comiserate.

This really sums up how many Americans feel about McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin. We are at war, almost in a recession, and facing some of the most difficult diplomatic situations in a generation, and Sarah Palin is what McCain comes up with? I'm so offended! Doesn't America deserve a little more? I'm upset and apalled, but not as much as Pamela Anderson.

Violence is funny, sometimes.

This video tickles me so much. I love how the simple things in life can bring so much enjoyment.

this may just be a coincidence, but here is a front page placement of Palin wrapped in a babies r us ad . how befitting. i'm having a slow day, so cut me some slack.

Right Here, there and everywhere!

Brandy's new single is a touching teaser for her album that touts the strength of our most treasured personal relationships and how they get us through hard times. Even before I saw the video or the making of the video, I really loved the song for it's honesty and good natured message. The story that the video brings to the song makes it all the better. In the video, Brandy is an angel that has come back down from heaven to console her mother and her love interest. It's really simple and cute. Classic Brandy style. I can't wait to hear and see the rest of the album and all the other life lessons and stories that Brandy will share with us.

Here's a pic of my new block. i'm really excited about getting settled in such a great space.

i'm officially a resident of bushwick. affectionately known to some as obamawick, for obvious reasons.

If it aint Barack....

So. In an attempt to jump back into the fray with the other bloggers around the world who are actually paying attention to what's going on in the world, I watched Obama's DNC acceptance speech tonight. And in another attempt to stand out amongst all the other liberal leaning bloggers of color worldwide, I'm going to dedicate this post to what I believe are mistakes he made in his speech. It would be an understatement to say that inspirational, emotionally charged and often times educational public talks are par for Obama's political course. If anything at all besides his more obvious differences from his opponent has intensified the media coverage of this election, it has been his seemingly innate ability to move the masses with his words. Consistently.

Democrats need a wee bit of a wake up call. (In my oh so valuable opinion) The honeymoon with our candidate is over, and now we need to get down to brass tacks to clinch a victory. (Finally)

1. Barack made the mistake of being vague about fiscal policy. I know that most people (including me probably) will not understand a whole lot of number crunching tossed at them from a podium. However, we do need some particulars on how your ideas add up in the real world.

2. This speech may have been a bit short. I don't know what the usual criteria is for this kind of thing, but if you're in the company of your own supporters, why not give them what they want? Spend a little time pandering to your base to let them know you haven't forgotten them. Hilary and McCain, would never make this kind of oversight. But then again... that may be part of his plan to distance himself from "traditional" politics. Hmmm, tough one.

3. Background, Set-up, and more Background. What have you done for me lately? There was a little bit about his accomplishments as a Senator included in the speech, but not enough. I wanted to be WOWed. I want my jaw to drop in awe and amazement at the many things Barack has already done to improve the lives of the citizens of this nation. Ideology is wonderful, and Barack has certainly saturated the airwaves with some of the best political, cultural and social ideology since, well, John F. Kennedy. Having said all of this, there does seem to be a bit of a lack of hardcore facts that he uses to beat his opponent about the head with in a "whose service is bigger contest?" Perhaps he's saving all of this for November?

Well. That's it. I can't think of anything else negative to say. So... in an attempt to end this post on a positive note, I will say this. Good Luck Obama, and God Bless the choice that America will make in this upcoming Presidential election.

Fighting in the Dark

Ok,

Since some people finally commented on my social commentary, then I guess I should take the content of this blog in that direction. (** one salty tear at the realization that no one's interested in stories about me and my shenanigans, regardless of the level of hilarity **)

So, recently I worked on a radio program encouraging African-Americans to take advantages of the strides we've made in HIV treatment. It's currently still in testing and I haven't heard any official word as to it's effectiveness. But, for the sake of my community and it's health, I hope that the message reaches as many ears and minds as it can. How can I do all I can to make this come to fruition? I'll post it here on my blog and see what happens.

Fact.

Nearly 50% of new HIV patients are African-American.

Fiction.

There is nothing we can do about it.

The olympics have officially begun, so i thought a little social commentary on China was in order. This huge sticker can be seen all around my neighborhood. It suggests that America itself is being made in China.

More Evidence. "Fall" by Brandy

We're ready. Even if you're not.

First I want whoever sees this to watch this short clip and listen very closely.





Now. Let me give you the background for this post. I just finished watching a B. Scott video that talked about not trying to convince people all the time. There is no need when you know what you want and try and surround yourself with people who do the same. Recently, my friends and I were in the car, coming back home after a trip to Martha's Vineyard and we were listening to music. So, of course, Brandy comes up, cause I'm in the car, and they proceed to give it to me about her career, and what it lacks and doesn't lack and all that. I then retaliated with a barrage of accomplishments and perfectly logical reasons why they were uneducated trend puppets who didn't know what they were talking about. I know now, that all of that was unnecessary. No more tirades or rants. Just the facts. If you can't understand why I love her so much, then google her, do your own research. Listen to the old stuff, listen to the new stuff. Learn something about harmonizing and how music is actually recorded. And if after that, you still don't get it, or think I'm just some stupid fan. Then fine. Maybe she's just not your cup of tea. Even if you're not convinced. I am. That is all that matters to Nathanael LyCurtis Holley.

The return of the red-eyed.

I'm back in New York. My vacation on Martha's Vineyard was a complete success, and I truly feel better equipped to make the moves I've planned for the rest of the year. Figuratively and literally.

My only gripe, (you know I have one), is that things always seem to happen when you're away and not prepared for it. During my vacation, my bank account was having all kinds of snafu's that I just can't afford, one of my friends had a run in with the Secret Service, and the organization I used to work for was audited by the CDC. As much as I like to think that I kick my heels up with the best of them, I couldn't help but feel that I wasn't responding to these things properly. If I had been in New York there would be people I could talk to, paperwork I could complete etc. Out in the Atlantic, I was socially adrift. But that's the cost of true relaxation I suppose. Somethings got to give... right?

However, thank God for paid time off. I'm glad to be back though.

serious napping takes a dedicated mind and a lot of booze.

dinner time for the black men waiting for seafood. carefree stomachs full.

my last day at the beach. its hard to say goodbye to sanity. sigh.

me , taking care of some important business at the office today.

Techno-Babble

I'm just overwhelmed by the way that technology has become so ubiquitous in our lives. Right at this very moment I'm signing up for a voice-recognition service called Jott to help me organize all of the organization, communication and reminder services that I've already signed up for. Maybe one day we'll get it all together and prioritize our innovations so that we can get the best out of the ones that work well for us and ditch all those that merely distract us. Like this blog, perhaps?

E3 2008, is a bit of a let-down. Of course, being the simpleton consumer that I am, I wasn't invited to attend. The podcasts and blog posts that have trickled out info from the event have been all about games and updates of games, nothing really industry changing. Nothing spectacular and Aha! Then again, why would I look to E3 for that kind of major announcement.

a mathematical representation of a dragon. made out of push pins in an office conference room.

lucy on the ground at union square. with nothing but love for life.

Seeing the light

It just came to me in a flash one day recently. Amidst repetitious cliches and obvious statements of truth. To be successful, you have to engage in something that you like to do. You have to love it. You have to feel as though your work just springs from your innermost desires.

Writing and designing are the only things that really just come naturally to me. So I think I'm going to stick with them and expand my skills. I want to dig down deep into my abilities and max out the quality of everything I produce.

Excel is not my friend

Look. I know I'm not a math genius. Ever since they tried to teach me how to use an abacus in the third or fourth grade, I knew that I was in trouble with the numerals. But Excel is just ridiculous. I just want to get a sum, and it's turning into a research project. I'll just have to add a Microsoft Suite refresher course to my list of To Do's. What does a guy have to do to get organized around here. I'm not a rich man, or even a middle class family man with lots of "responsibilities". So why can't I get my finances in order? I'll tell you why. Lack of education and an egregious lack of interest. For some reason, I've convinced myself that making more money is the answer to any financial problem that I may encounter. Funny. The first think I think about when it comes to social policy and the nation's economy, is "...cut spending, and invest better..." Duh! I should be holding fast to that edict as well when it comes to my own meager earnings.

BTW. I'm so into jewelry right now. Not just the usual urbanite bling, but the real rare and fun stuff. Collector Ish. I watch more GemsTV now than anything else. (at least until the Olympics start up - Way too excited!) The random ramblings of the colorful hosts drowns out my own mental exhaustion and keeps me company as if I was an elderly person in the hinterlands of our fair nation and not a young Buppy.

My friend Gym

I used to have a crippling fear of the gym, or any other athletic space where strangers were forced to perform, succeed, fail, and disrobe in front of each other. When I was a young lad in grade school, I was teased and harassed by the jocks. Although I truly do enjoy athletic competition, I couldn't seem to get a hang of the aggressive bonding culture that seems to go hand in hand with it. I just wanted to have fun, enjoy the exercise and move onto the next thing. How much more ignorant and foolhardy could I have been?
Sports and exercise are about manipulation, intimidation, and domination, right? At least that's how I used to feel. After being forced to go to New York Sports Club in the past 3 years to perform maintenance on my aging body, I've come to understand a little bit more about how the mindset of a "gym-goer" is formed. First there is the fear of public failure. Then, you have the unavoidable and obvious sexual titillation that stems from loosely clothed, sweaty bodies in motion that is simultaneously terrifying and alluring. And lastly, you have the forced socialization. Sharing space, equipment, and air with a group of people can cause one to feel pangs of sympathy, a sort of kinship of action as well as disdain and suspicion. So what is a "gym-going" brain to do? Block Block and again I say Block!
When I was younger, I wasn't able to discern negative harassment from adolescent ribbing and suffered greatly because of it. Now, I'm much better positioned and trained in the art of group dynamics. I can ignore looks from people, block my person from being offended by another person's proximity etc. Taking all of the good vibes in while actively keeping the bad vibes out is the key. In fact, I may even be well on my way to enjoying going to the gym and seeing the faces of the other people who share my new mindset about bodies and how they can workout together without having the minds attached to them colliding in misunderstanding and fear.

A Lovely Day

My favorite part of Central Park. It has an unmistakeable grandeur that illicits romanticism from all those who visit without fail. Like a time portal to another era, it brings a not so subtle formality to one's experience of the park and offers respectful acknowledgement to the natural beauty within it's boundaries. I would love to have a party there. What kind i don't know.

restrain yourself.

It just might work

Music is a unique business these days. Especially since, due to the dawning of the digital age, people have new ways of stealing it, buying it and making it for themselves. We all love music, and in most parts of the Western world, we all dream of being closer to it and its production. Pop stars, rock stars, indie hits, most downloaded favorites, who wouldn't want a piece of the action.

Well, I have an idea. There is this new website that just launched called rifflet that allows people to download music files and share them with others, finished or unfinished. What if a committee of some sort were put together to rifle through these riffs and produce an album of what the talented general public is dabbling with in their own homes? I think it could be really fun and people could share in the profits and joy of their music making hobby in a way that embraces community values and ideals instead of individual dictations of taste and substance.

I put this question to the makers of rifflet. Why not? Hit me back with why you think this could or couldn't work. I would love to see something like this come to pass.

find the time to care. trust that it doesn't take much. become different.

Don't Cut Me Off

Gabcast! Snizatch Blog #8 - Don't Cut Me Off

Career, Good news, Stuff to do

Bask in the Glow of my Non-Fame!

Hey there.

Someone named Clayton sent me an invitation to this thing called VerveEarth. It places blogs and other net-oddities on a global map so that people can pour over digital media based on geographic location. I think its a pretty cute idea. Especially, if your looking to get a feel for what spots and groups of people are into what. So check my little rss feed location button thing for SNIZATCH out.

Also. I'm concerned about the logistics involved for the May 18th AIDS Walk here in New York. I'm ashamed to say that this year will be my first year participating and I have no idea how to comport myself on a "walk". Do you talk to people on the way?Do you chant? Do you link arms and sing songs? How does it all work, and why is it a walk instead of a run? Whatever happens I'll try to prepare myself.

Please help me raise money for the NY AIDS Walk. Click on the link below to donate money online.

HELP STOP AIDS NOW!

My Art Hero

This video of my new art hero, Bruce Shapiro, is simply amazing. You won't believe his ingenious use of motion control to produce precise lines and forms. Although my main (read most productive) forms of expression continue to be dance, music and literature (not in that order), I'm simply fascinated by computer art in video games, websites, architecture etc. The one thing that keeps me from fully exploring these art forms is a cripplingly insufficient understanding of mathematics. (sigh)

likewise.

in old neighborhoods. with old friends doing new things.catching the sly fun.

can you guess what this is? in this new series of photos, i will post a pic and you tell me what you think the item is. good luck.

Net Nanny

Let's face it. The Internet has been babysitting 17 - 30 year old males for the past 15 or so years. Although there have been some people that have already pointed out the drawbacks to this rampant lack of interest or respect for the "real world", very few of these voices have sprung from 17 - 30 year old males. Until Now?

After having a fairly deep conversation at work about goals and personal time maintainence with a very smart friend, I realized that although I was making a very good point in the aforementioned dialogue, I wasn't making a point to live my own words. It's not that I spend too much time on the Internet, a great deal of the time I spend on the Net is for work and thusly totally justified. What bothers me is what I do when I'm left to my own devices on the world wide web. Productive I am not, as you can plainly read.

My point is that, although there are a great deal of positive things that people do with the internet, make money, make friends, make art, make etc., there really isn't a social movement to use the internet as a productive tool in peoples lives. Sure, people job hunt and exchange information, but are people getting trained to do jobs on the net? are people reaching out those in need on the net? Where does the fun stop and the building begin? Can any real community building be done on the web? Who knows. I'm just going to make sure that whenever I'm up here from now on, I'm either learning something from someone or teaching something to somebody.

(And this counts)

why are midnight snacks so yummy ? i want to be good to my tummy.

this is where you can go to donate money to hiv aids services in new work, one of the epicenters of the disease in the u.s.

AIDS Walk Donations!

Hello World!

Today was fairly productive, I did my taxes (which is always a humbling experience) and I finally signed up for the NYC AIDS walk. I've never been a great fundraiser, but I hope that my involvement in this effort will teach me more about the great need that we have in this country for better HIV/AIDS services and how that need should be met. Please help me make a difference in this pandemic by donating whatever you can at the following website:

STOP AIDS NOW!

folio fun

Check it out!

Transference

Wamu is a mess. I can't believe the awful mix up this whole transfer thing has caused.
I tried to put some money into an account to cover a check, and quickly found out that it can take up to 3 business days for the electronic transfer to be processed. Three days is not instant. The net is supposed to make these things easier and speedier for all of us. What's going on?

This is yet another hard earned tidbit of knowledge added to my growing collection.

for all of my boston fans. you know who you are.

cool and chilly.

Brandy, Like a fine Wine

By now, most of my friends know that I love Brandy. Her style, her talent, her incredible work ethic and attention to detail. It's remarkable. Plain and simple. Here are some examples of why her work is known industry wide for it's true innovation and undeniable artistic merit.

Enjoy!

Eyebees.com Presentation

Hey,

This afternoon, my friend Jack Bury and I presented eyebees to the Nextweb meeting at Webster Hall. It went pretty well, we've learned a lot about how to explain eyebees to people and we can't wait to do it again.

I would like to thank Jack and George for bringing me onto this project. It's the most fun I've had in ages. For real! I mean, just check out my eyebees panel that I've included in this blog, it's really cool to be able to see when someone's looking at my blog and what they're looking at. I can't wait to get a big group of people in here from my Skype friends list to talk about the experience and get some feedback on how I can use the application.

i heart the netflix. come back to me dvd. fill my eyes with light.

Ocular Oppulence

New glasses! I'm very fortunate to have purchase new glasses recently. I really needed them. Even though I've known that I could drastically improve my sight with corrective lenses for the past 15 or so years, I've only now really felt brave enough to stop making excuses and make glasses a part of my life.

I've certainly had them before, but it almost always ended in failure before. Broken, lost, forgotten. Again and again. I think I had some sort of phobia against them and what they did to my "image". In the first few days of having the two pairs of glasses I own now, I've already left one pair at a friends job, safely on his desk and not on my face. I say to myself, I'm just going to take them off for a little while so they won't get broken, or so my eyes can rest, but I always misplace them. It will take some time for me to get used to wearing them, but I'm confident that after a while it will be just another part of my daily routine.

i just had a really good meeting with the pastor of williamsburg church. i'm very gratefull for the chance to start going to church again. i also almost bought some art this past weekend at this gallery. why aren't i doing more art stuff? i have such a great opportunity to live in a city full of such things.

Listen and Learn?

Gabcast! Snizatch Blog #7 - Can't Remember

food, store, talk, culture, media, happy, copy, writing

When I'm not looking

The best ideas come to you when you're not trying to come up with them. The very unnecessary and unexpected trains of thought that you humor and allow to continue to build up steam in your mind are the ones that most often strike a mountain stuffed with gold. However, as I'm learning from one of my professors now, it's always good to do a little research first before riding on one of these trains. If you don't have the foggiest idea what you're doing or where you would like to go, your trains could get mixed up on the wrong track and crash into each other or become derailed altogether.

If you can't tell, I've made a little progress on my SVA project today and I'm really stoked about it.

A little assistance please.

Self-improvement and self-awareness. Two things that I set out to do some work on when I first began this blog. They seem to be going fairly well without much input from outside of myself, thank God. But now, I'm going to have to ask for a little help from anyone out there who seems so inclined.

I'm working on another assignment for school and even though I've had an extra week to mull it over, distinct and conclusive progress still alludes me. The job at hand is as follows: create an ad that introduces and advocates the consumption of bison meat, aka the north American buffalo, and create an ad that sells lingerie from Victoria Secret.
Vary random. I know. I've done the research, even begun some preliminary brainstorming, yet, I can't quite seem to get to a place in my head that's truly visionary and exhibits these two things in ways that a normal sane human being would never think to.

I think I need a push in the right direction. Leave a comment and let me know what would move you to take another look at titties and buffalo meat.

a studio view

arrival

Food is Expensive

Gabcast! Snizatch Blog #6 - Food is Expensive

walking to the store

keep smiling. even if only on the inside.

Guilty Feeling

Hey,

I skipped church today and I feel pretty bad about it. I've had a little cough lately and it isn't bad enough to use as an excuse by any means, so I'm not even going to try to. I spent the day relaxing at first and now I'm going to try and get some work done by doing some writing, working on my portfolio, etc. My usual exercises. I'm also going to do some bible study to make up for the missed service today.

Here's more bad news. I've missed hosting my Skypecast twice now and I'm beginning to see why all of these interesting ideas of mine seem to burn bright but fade fast. My follow-through is just embarrassing. This whole beginning of the year has been an exercise in trying to regain ground that I had claimed for myself months ago. Have I learned my lesson yet? Who knows.

A kind of Stardom

Yesterday I went to a karaoke bar with a group of people from work. My initial thoughts were that this would be a good way to meet some of the people that work in my office, network, forge some new professional relationships and such, but that was before the sake arrived. We had a total blast. All self consciousness and discomfort went out the door after the first few songs. I actually enjoyed acting like a complete idiot in front of my peers.

There must be something about music that just puts people at ease. It helps them to let there guard down and see things differently. Even when there was a genre of music or artist playing that I wasn't particularly fond of, watching others get excited and put their all into the feeling of the song was very entertaining and educational. How can you not learn something about someone by the way they scream and gyrate to a set of lyrics and melody that you've never even heard before. At the end of the night, we all made sure to make an appointment to do it all over again at the end of the month, without any hesitation.

Voce Dolce

Gabcast!
Sitting in front of the computer to write my already amazingly boring blog is no longer doing it for me. I'm a much more effective orator when I put my mind to it. Making these NPR inspired Gabcasts will hopefully liven things up. I've done them in the past and they seem to take on much more meaning for myself and others than if they were just dry prose. (Like what I'm writing now!)

I plan to have really interesting guest interviews. Fortunately, I know some rather unique characters that haven't yet been properly shared with the public. Also, my own thought process is better captured in audio, since I talk to myself a lot. (I might as well document my own absurdities if I'm going to be all Anne Frank with this blog.

Snizatch Blog #5

New Skypecast Talk Show: SNIZATCH the mix

Hey,

I'm going to try out this new Skypecasting thing because I think its an amazing new medium. That's it. I think it's cool, so I'm going to do it. Podcasting, Youtube videos, message boards etc. are all very hot and fresh ways of getting a message, an idea, a point of view or whatever out there into the global ether. But, with a Skypecast, you can bring people together and discuss stuff in-real time with no editing, no holds barred kind of action. Pretty exciting, right? How many times have you yelled at Fox news, "that's not right!" or found yourself tearing up during an Oprah segment, just bursting to say something to that beautiful young widow about the meaning of life. Now, there is a forum where we can do just that.

Check me out! Skypecast

Snizatch the mic

Saturdays at seven.

A shot of the Nextweb meeting slash pres

A shot of the Nextweb meeting slash presentations.

NextWeb = New Ideas

Yesterday evening, I attended a small gathering of internet entrepaneurs called Nextweb. My good friend Jack Bury turned me onto it and I was actually very impressed with the presentations that people put together to share their budding ideas.

I've been toying around with an internet based company idea for a while. I.E. this blog and the adjoined "webshop". But here's the thing, It's really hard to get clicks and interest in what you're doing on the web boosted up enough to be a cultural phenomenon, underground or mainstream wise. So, I'm hoping that learning more about how people are building their web company models will help me to refine my concepts and bring much more functionality and usefullness to this blog and other things I have coming down the pipe.

Contemplating

So, I did a little contemplating about God again today. I think I've made a little headway, but it's not that important. I know that I will never fully understand, I'm just trying to improve the context and the language that holds my faith and relationship to the Almighty. Basically, I need a way to think about God that doesn't make me feel completely lost.

In other news, there have been lots of rumors on the net about Brandy's new album. There couldn't be a more hopeful fan. There just couldn't be. Her recent unreleased song leaks have kept me going for the past 3 years or so, and I'm grateful for them. However, now that the prospect of the new album is close, my anticipation and greedy desire has grown immensely. I can't wait.

My instructor at SVA was a very sobering experience today. He reviewed my work last night with a certain objectivity and clinical dryness that surprised even me, Mr. social worker transplant. It's precisely what I need to improve my style and focus, communication strength and overall conceptual effectiveness. I hope.

Laters

sigh of relief

Work is going pretty well. so thats good. I`m slowly getting back into the feeling of going back to school as well. Now that this is my second class at sva, I have a better idea of what to expect from the course and how much I need to put into my work to get the best experience from it. My insomnia has flared up a bit again though. I'm writing this on the Wii at 5 in the morning. I better go.

bad pic

that last pic i posted was not hot. i took it with my helio on lunch a few days ago. i called it hunger. sorry i found some of my old poems. now all i have to do is send them to some publishers. this post was made on the internet channel of my Wii.

Gone for a minute

Yeah, I know. Its really been a while, and where are all the pictures that I've been promising already? I just can't seem to really find something that I find interesting enough to photograph and post. It can't help that I'm always at work and I never get out to do stuff in the city and live like a normal person under 50, that could have something to do with it. Since I don't have any hot pics or exciting tales of intrigue, I'll just talk about random stuff that catches my attention here and there.

While running a simple errand on 23rd street on Super Tuesday, I was handed a Hillary Clinton pamphlet from a middle aged Latina woman. She was wearing a blue and white mesh vest that was remarkably similar to that of a construction worker or someone completing a mandate of community service. "Ave youw woted today?" she called out to the massively uninterested passersby in a genuinely concerned voice. I walked over to her and stuck out my hand and one of my most non-threatening smiles. I must have looked like a crocodile winking at a baby wildebeast at the watering hole, but I really was glad to see her. She handed me the pamphlet, saw my croc-smile and raised me a thank-you-kind-sir smile and head nod. As she turned away to continue her outreach, the only thought that my grey matter could muster in this awkward moment of truth was "America". But not just any "America", the "America" uttered with a sigh and a shrug during the song Sante Fe in Broadway's Rent by the tranny character Angel. I just couldn't help but feel the guilt of ambivalence in the face of this woman's courage, trust, dedication and patriotism in and for a country that she may or may not have been born in. It's just something to think about.

Strengths and Weaknesses

I believe that everyone should know their own strengths and weaknesses.

Personal Time

Is there some sort of unwritten rule of life that states one must immediately be bombarded with unforeseen responsibilities and tasks at the precise moment that one decides to take some time for oneself? If you are me, or anyone else who actually longs for some time to yourself, then the answer is most undoubtedly yes.

Today was a very good day at work for me. We shot some video clips that will be used to rally the sales troops of one of our clients in an upcoming sales conference type thing I guess. It's always good to step outside of my usual routine of think, write, show others, listen while others rethink and rewrite what I've thought and wrote, wait a little, and then give them the exact same writings and thinkings again when they realize the rethinking and rewriting was unnecessary and unwarranted. No, I'm not patting myself on the back, its just that I'm a junior right now so I only get the really duh writing assignments anyways. And, as you can tell by the quality and frequency of this "blog", for good reason.

Anywho. Today was a very good day but I am disappointed that I couldn't find time to sneak away and grab my glasses and turn in my continuing education paperwork for approval and processing.

OOPS! 2

I totally forgot to take pictures over the Christmas holiday. I suppose I was having too much fun hanging out with my family. I will most certainly take some in the weeks to come.

I'm back in the city and taking everything back to basics. All the stuff I said I was going to do, I'm doing, and all the the other stuff I needed to do that never got done will be done so the I can write later on about all of the things I did. And here they are in no particular order:

Find and attend a suitable church
prepare for graduate school
complete a professional advertising portfolio
create and register a small business
start singing again, somewhere!
get my glasses so I can drive

2008 is going to be my year for revival!
Thank you Jesus.

Seasonal allergies

I have received such a wake up call in the second half of this year. A new job, a continuing education course, a move, a roommate and my return to the dating scene have all brought some much needed reality into the world of "Nate". I'm glad to be going home for Christmas though. I can't think of a better way to recharge my batteries than seeing the people that I love during a time when nothing else matters except being next to one another.

However, I must be careful not to get too comfortable in this haze of happiness. My list of must-do's has become to long that it seems to end where it began in some crazy circle of responsibility and action. Once again, I'm charged with looking at the path I'm on and deciding how to plant each foot as I lumber on towards an unknown, but anticipated future.

Many pics to come from NC!

Road Blocks

I've got to get over this fear of asking for help. I have a lot of work to do for this portfolio and there is no way that I can do it all alone. Why can't I just go up to an art director in my class and ask for help in putting the blasted thing together? There is so much at stake, and yet I clam up every time. This SVA (School of Visual Arts) class has been a unique and helpful experience, and I've learned so much about my new "craft" and even more about myself and how I thought I worked versus how my creative process really takes place. I can't allow my own personal fears of failure and inadequacy take over the simple ambitions I have for success in this endeavor.

Getting my Weight Up.

Well, I weighed myself on the bathroom scale today after almost 5 or so months of not being able to even think of what I may have gained in poundage. I wasn't surprised. I have gained some weight, but I totally know where it's all coming from; laziness and fear. After losing my free gym membership when I changed jobs, I haven't gone back into the NYSC offices to reinstate myself into their fold. Why... because. Parties here, lazy afternoons there, plain and simple. I've watched my lovely dancer's build balloon to slightly above average Joe-ness. Not cute. Stretching, push-ups and crunches at home have done nothing to stem the tide of flab that has come over me. Don't get me wrong. I'm still turning heads, but only with some carefully crafted outfitting and "incognegro" public appearances. The only good thing about all of this, is that, by not going to the gym, I have had some time to look at the projects I'm working on and make some priorities in my life. My writing, my portfolio, my job in pharma advertising, my friends and family, my spirituality and love of Christ. These are all adding to the mental weight that I've appreciatively accumulated in the past few months. I'm getting my weight up; focusing on living a better life and moving forward, hopefully, without getting heavy in the process.

New Music

So, Brandy and Tweet are both rumored/scheduled to have a new album coming out in 2008 and I'm very excited. I think of them both as inspirations and look forward to hearing how their music will be different but the same great style once again.

Video Jug is too Funny!

VideoJug: How To Give A Great Man To Man Hug

Check out this video site called Video Jug. They have all of these smarmy but informative Brittish How To posts. They remind me of the old Disney cartoons where Goofy would embark on a mission or chore with commentation and direction from a comedic narrator. Too Funny!

a scarf i made years ago. i like to knit. it calms me

just thinking.

just thinking.

Award and Show

Hey. I'm going to an award show this Friday and its kind of bugging me that I don't have the amount of time that I need to get myself together. I have a bit of an idea of what to expect as far as the crowd and the attire and the vibe, but to be honest, its been a while since I've really done the NYC social scene. Although gobs of fun, it can sometimes be a mine field of old mistakes one's made and fresh new pitfalls one has yet to encounter. I'll just make the most of it. I'm going to be 26 this year and if I don't get over this stupid fear of finding myself brown nosing instead of networking, my career is going to be face down in the mud anyways!

Trashy Eco Love

i saw this a while back and thought it was a good example of how there is no excuse for not doing your part for the environment.

My mind is working hard, but my body is taking a nap!

Video Testing

Lets Keep the giggling to a minimum. I couldn't think of anything else to put up here. so I'm going to try this for now and then record more music and video of me in weird places doing weird stuff with weird music later. Trust me. I have it all planned out. These first posts are just to get a general view of what my camera phone is capable of. I want to use the camera phone initially to get spontaneous content. Who knows? If you're one of my friends or family. You may find yourself up here soon???

Video Posts

I'm trying to post videos from my phone to Youtube.com, but I'm having some trouble. I don't know why I want to do this so bad, I don't even do the audio posts that I was so keen on a while ago, so why step up to video if I can't even do that. I'll just have to do both for a bit and get used to doing it so it's not such a chore.

Bad Timing

I almost made it to the Time Warner office on 23rd today. I need to return some of their silly equipment or I have to pay for it, so I stuffed it in my Kenneth Cole bag this morning in hopes of dropping it off after work. When I arrived the guard was standing at the door, it was just a few minutes after 7, there were still customers inside waiting to be helped, but he just looked at me sadly and whispered in broken English through his braces, "It's after seven." I just quietly turned around and came home. I couldn't argue with him. I hadn't the strength. I'll get him tomorrow.

Nothing spectacular today. I'm working on this very interesting idea for a new campaign. Who knows what my boss will say about it?

What I've been up to lately

I'm learning how to layout ads right now with OpenOffice Draw. It's free software, so it doesn't have all of the bell's and whistles of InDesign or anything like that. But it does the job for me for right now. I really hope that this class goes well for me. As soon as I figure out how to post a pdf to this crazy blog, I'll show some of my work.

Humility

OH, how the mighty have fallen.

My continuing education class at SVA has proven to be quite the challenge for my relationship with higher learning. The entire pedagogical premise for this course is rooted in self-discovery, personal reflection and responsibility. Let's just say that I am poorly equipped to fully engage these practices in my current state of being. I just want to be shown a proven formula that I can emulate and re-tool for my own purposes like most other professional students. This class is not allowing me to do that. So, in exchange, I'm being forced to learn how me, myself and I work best to create new ideas and put them on display for others.

Humility. Will they understand my work? Am I just trapped in my own head with no hope of connecting with any audience, regardless of size or similarity of experience? We will see.

Britney Spears and Taser Guns

Well, I saw the Britney tragedy today. I'm not usually interested at all in this kind of thing, but curiosity got the best of me. So I watched it on Youtube. I was flabbergasted. She looked more bored than the concerned celebrities in the audience. You could almost see Fifty Cent saying a little prayer inside his head for her. People did everything but purse their lips, close their eyes and shake their heads in pity.
This woman was (and most likely still is) an amazing performer. Her life has been riddled with problems, pressure, mis-perceptions and downright vicious attacks. I'm not a Britney fan, but give her a break, it was a bad decision for her to perform without being on her A-game, but it's time for us to realize our own culpability in this fiasco. I'm so tired of American's creating these young stars just so they can tear them down at the first sign of a wobble or falter. It's ridiculous.

We all have our own favorite diva or performer. (It's Brandy Norwood for me) And nothing anyone can say will change that. Opinions are formed and changed overnight, so lets keep things in perspective. Art is just Art. You don't have to like it or ascribe meaning or anything to it. It's what people do with their "Art" that makes all the difference.

Now. I just want to say that the tasing incident that happened a little while ago on a college campus here in the states was an obvious intrusion on the student's civil and human rights. He was freaking shocked with electricity for being a little forceful in his questioning at a public forum. I can't tell you how many times I've been a complete ass in public and nothing has happened to me. America, for shame. This is the beginning of the end folks. If kids in college can get tased for just mentioning the skull and bones society, what hope do we all have for a genuine revolution of public policy and effective leadership in this country. NONE. I'll tell you again. NONE WHATSOEVER. I sense that this incident will be the measuring stick by which we, as citizens of the United States, can measure the degree of corruption and malice which fuels the mental processes of those currently in control of our nation. PERIOD.

I, for one, am concerned.

Lightbulb

Hello...duh...I just figured it out.

This stomach thing is whats causing my diet and exercise routine to be such a bust.
Hopefully, once I get my gastronomic problems solved, all the rest of it will fall in line more easily.

Thats REAL!

So. I've been pretending that my strange eating habits, infrequent to stressful working out, completely insane sleeping cycle, and ridiculous work hours haven't been harming my body. That game is now over. The jig is up. For the past few days, every time I eat something, I've been getting these sharp pains in the exact same place in my stomach.

That's right... I think it's an ulcer too. Not cute. So now, not only do I have to rethink the way I've been abusing my slowly aging body, but I have to go to the doctor to get myself checked out and on antibiotics ASAP.

I'm not being pessimistic, but my stupid, vain, human fears keep telling me to be on the lookout for other problems as well.

Harder than it looks

I have to get back into the gym. I've been doing the simple exercises and stretches at home, but the results have been lackluster at best. Since I left my non-profit job where my monthly fee was taken care of as part of my benefit's package, I haven't taken the initiative to go to a New York Sports Club office and set up a new membership. I have the money, I just can't seem to fit it in.

On that note, I have Netflix that need to be located and returned, checks that need to be put into the mail, a dvr recorder that needs to go back to the cable company and a host of other errands that I've very simply neglected. What is wrong with me? There is little worse than knowing exactly what you need to do and not doing it for now reason other than you don't feel like doing it. Sometimes, I tell myself that I need house staff. A personal assistant that just takes care of all the stuff that I'm too bored with to execute. Then, I come to my senses and realize that I'm just being lazy and uppity.

I'm going to do better. I can't let boredom be the excuse for failure. Too many other, would be geniuses and savants have already used that one.

Nerd Alert

You know, I never considered myself by any stretch of the imagination a techi (technology geek), but something happened today that made me feel really odd about my relationship to digital media.

I just moved to a new apt. and my roommate has a very interesting set up on his widescreen, surround sounded tv in the living room. Try as I might, I could not get the sound on today. It just wouldn't come through. He's got it routed through DVD players and speakers and a record player and a dvr machine and even a laserdisk situation. It was like tracking a mouse that you can't see through a maze that doesn't exist. So eventually I gave up totally and just watched my tv.

Now, that's not the end of the story. Although my pride was mildly damaged by that little defeat with the surround sound, I found myself battling with technology again when, later in the day, I tried to burn a DVD from my computer, only to find that my computer does not even have that capability. How could I have missed that nugget of information in the year or so I've been tinkering with this thing?

So now, it's painfully obvious to me... Myself and other generation Y pseudo-nerds have been adopting and buying into an understanding of the digital age that is dreadfully shallow and ignorant. We know how to push the buttons, but we have no idea what they actually do. I'm comfortable with using things that I can't make from scratch myself, but there should be some rudimentary understanding of what's going on to keep things simple for the user and the tool being used. From now on, I'm going to be much more attentive to instructions and explanations around digital media. I don't want to be the tank driver who was trained on a video game. I want to be the tank driver that built the tank.