Road Blocks

I've got to get over this fear of asking for help. I have a lot of work to do for this portfolio and there is no way that I can do it all alone. Why can't I just go up to an art director in my class and ask for help in putting the blasted thing together? There is so much at stake, and yet I clam up every time. This SVA (School of Visual Arts) class has been a unique and helpful experience, and I've learned so much about my new "craft" and even more about myself and how I thought I worked versus how my creative process really takes place. I can't allow my own personal fears of failure and inadequacy take over the simple ambitions I have for success in this endeavor.

Getting my Weight Up.

Well, I weighed myself on the bathroom scale today after almost 5 or so months of not being able to even think of what I may have gained in poundage. I wasn't surprised. I have gained some weight, but I totally know where it's all coming from; laziness and fear. After losing my free gym membership when I changed jobs, I haven't gone back into the NYSC offices to reinstate myself into their fold. Why... because. Parties here, lazy afternoons there, plain and simple. I've watched my lovely dancer's build balloon to slightly above average Joe-ness. Not cute. Stretching, push-ups and crunches at home have done nothing to stem the tide of flab that has come over me. Don't get me wrong. I'm still turning heads, but only with some carefully crafted outfitting and "incognegro" public appearances. The only good thing about all of this, is that, by not going to the gym, I have had some time to look at the projects I'm working on and make some priorities in my life. My writing, my portfolio, my job in pharma advertising, my friends and family, my spirituality and love of Christ. These are all adding to the mental weight that I've appreciatively accumulated in the past few months. I'm getting my weight up; focusing on living a better life and moving forward, hopefully, without getting heavy in the process.

New Music

So, Brandy and Tweet are both rumored/scheduled to have a new album coming out in 2008 and I'm very excited. I think of them both as inspirations and look forward to hearing how their music will be different but the same great style once again.

Video Jug is too Funny!

VideoJug: How To Give A Great Man To Man Hug

Check out this video site called Video Jug. They have all of these smarmy but informative Brittish How To posts. They remind me of the old Disney cartoons where Goofy would embark on a mission or chore with commentation and direction from a comedic narrator. Too Funny!

a scarf i made years ago. i like to knit. it calms me

just thinking.

just thinking.

Award and Show

Hey. I'm going to an award show this Friday and its kind of bugging me that I don't have the amount of time that I need to get myself together. I have a bit of an idea of what to expect as far as the crowd and the attire and the vibe, but to be honest, its been a while since I've really done the NYC social scene. Although gobs of fun, it can sometimes be a mine field of old mistakes one's made and fresh new pitfalls one has yet to encounter. I'll just make the most of it. I'm going to be 26 this year and if I don't get over this stupid fear of finding myself brown nosing instead of networking, my career is going to be face down in the mud anyways!